Friday, August 23, 2013

Rover Tales

*based on a true story

Ah, our pal Rover. You will not buh-lieve what he's been up to...

Rover and his girl (we'll call her Lauren) have been in a relationship for more than a decade. Rover's never had a job, no car, no place to live, and has been in jail for years at a time. She spends her last so he can have whatever he wants. This behavior led to her losing a lot of residences in the past and yet, when she would find a place, she'd seek his approval. And yes, they do have a child together. She's put him out so many times that he's probably been "out" longer than he's been in. Sounds like the usual, right?

Here's where it gets crazy. You may be thinking, What! That's already crazy! Nope. Keep reading.

During one of their "off" moments, Rover started (yeah, right!) seeing another lady. For months straight, Lauren didn't hear from him, giving her just enough wiggle room to start thinking she could do without him. Then bam! He pops up with the same old tired lines that worked before. Done and done. He's back in.

But, he's not alone. He had the other lady secretly living with them in an unused part of the house. Yes, you read that right. Lauren would go to work and Rover and his boo roamed free. (Told you it got crazier.) Did Lauren put them both out? Yes.

I wish I could say she learned her lesson. I wish I could say that was her last straw. I wish I could say she was finally done.

I wish I could say he didn't try that stunt with the other lady again. But, I can't. Yup...he pulled this crap, not once, but twice!

Of course, Lauren goes ballistic (again!) and says to Rover, "You must think I'm a fool!" And she puts him out (again!).

Does anyone know what's wrong with Lauren's statement?

Girlfriend talk? Lauren, you ARE a fool (again!). See, that closing argument in the Court of Rover voids itself after the first time. Once you repeat the same actions over, and over, and over, you can't use it anymore. You can't play the victim card, you can't blame Rover. It's all on you honey.

My grandma used to say, "Don't ever let anyone make a fool out of you twice. The first time it's on them, the second time it's on you because you knew what they did the first time."

As pitifully sad and hella wrong it was for him to pull that stunt (twice!) It's your fault. You let him get away with his crap for years on end and you keep letting him come back. So, whatever he does when you let him back in, even something as low as shacking up with his girlfriend in your home, is YOUR fault.

Yes, Lauren, you are a fool for Rover.

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