Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Occupational Gossiper

Gossiping is not cute. Just because you want to know everything there is to know about people's lives doesn't mean everyone else feels the same way. They don't.

For those of us who say no to gossip, we don't want to know what kind of medicine your church member's husband is taking or the ailment. We don't want to know what type of laundry detergent your neighbor uses (or that they buy it in bulk at Sam's Club). We don't want to know the Treasurer of the women's committee you belong to met her boyfriend on-line.

We don't know these people!

We don't want to know the neighbor of your sister is having marital problems. Or, their son is flunking math. We don't have to know the brother-in-law of a distant cousin is having surgery and will be on medical leave for six weeks.

All of that time you spend spreading dirt, what are you doing for yourself? I know the answer--nothing. Running your mouth takes up a lot of time. Oh, yes. It does. One gossipy phone call can last for hours. Seriously. And usually, it's like eating candy. You just can't stop at one. Nope. You have to make the usual rounds until everyone in the Gossip Crew is thoroughly covered in someone else's dirt.

Word Problem:
Tina has 3 friends she always calls when she has something juicy to spill. If one conversation lasts 2 hours, how many hours total does Tina spend gossiping with all three friends?

Answer: 6 hours.

Now, add 1 hour for lunch (meaning you're sharing the biz in between bites of your sandwich) and 2 fifteen minute breaks (texting the biz while doing your biz in the bathroom). That's 7 hours and 30 minutes. Add another 30 minutes for not "working" as soon as you get to your desk.

See what I mean? Add up everything and you get 8 hours. That's your entire work day.

So, what did you accomplish? Nothing. Other than telling everyone your neighbor two streets over just painted her front door blue (she got the paint on sale at Lowe's).

Girl, do some work!


  1. Loved the math...and I hate math. LOL

    But let's face it, gossiping isn't going anywhere. All I say is "get it right" when someone wants to gossip about me.

  2. The irony of this, is people that gossip don't like it when people gossip about them. Or they'll get mad at you for being in there business when they are the ones tell it.