Friday, July 2, 2010

Mighty Chicks

Time kidnapped me and dropped me off ten years later…

I didn’t give an explanation for this blog. This is for all the ladies, gals, and chicks who have found themselves between the between. We’re not 20, but we’re not 40. As a matter of fact you don’t know what age you are. If you’re like me you think you’re still in your twenties, but your birthday proves that was over 10 years ago. What happened?

Okay. Think of it this way. If we were food we would be the Mighty Kid’s Meal at McDonalds. Why did the King of Fries do this? Because they realized at some point kids feel a Happy Meal is babyish, but a Big Mac is too much. And they still want a toy!

This is us. Mighty Chicks. Wedged between P.Y.T. and Grown & Sexy, but we still want to play. We’re young, but not that young. And we’re not old, either. We’re Bi-Youthful. Our bodies are betraying us; we have two gray hairs, and we still have zits. We’re constantly in a tug-of-war with P.Y.T and G&S. And let’s face it. Sometimes it sucks!

Like you sashay into Forever 21—don’t act like I’m the only one—to check out what’s new. You wander around and you spot a hot little—and I mean little, but that’s a blog for another day—dress. You eye it. You touch it. You want it. This is what happens.

“Oh my God, that is so cute.” P.Y.T. says as she reaches for it.
“Are you freaking crazy? She can’t wear that?” G&S screams.
Something hits a nerve and you immediately roll your eyes to the top of your head to confront her.
“What do you mean I can’t wear that? Says who?”
“Your boobs. They’re kissing your navel and you can’t wear a bra with that dress.”
Excuse me.” You snap back. “But, my boobs are not at my navel.” Okay. So, they’re at your ribs, but jeez! That’s not your navel.
“Don’t listen to her. She didn’t take her Bean-O this morning.” P.Y.T. tells me.
“Yeah, and you didn’t take your Flintstones.” G&S shoves her.

You leave them to killing each other and move to the next rack. But, P.Y.T is a sneaky little thing and somehow the dress ends up in the fitting room with you. You try it on anyway and guess what? It looks like crap.

It’s actually a reasonable length, stopping below mid thigh. But unfortunately the only toned part of your leg is a millimeter above your knee. And wait a minute…something’s not right with your hips. The fabric is bunched, so you smooth it out. What the hell? That’s not fabric, that’s extra meat!

Your self-esteem slips a few notches because you realize your body has gone soft and you’ve got to whip it back in shape. It’s new territory. Before, you were a P.Y.T. Your body had snap-back. Now, you’re at the part where you’ve got to work to keep what you’ve got. You tell yourself you’re going to exercise, eat healthy, and moisturize.

And what do you do? You head to Baskin Robbins.

So, to all my Mighty Chicks out there who have veggie hearts and ice cream thighs...I hear you.

3 comments:

  1. I am so loving this!!! I have finally found an author who writes about relatable life experiences...Thanks Crystal Blake!!

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  2. This is so true!

    ReplyDelete