Monday, July 12, 2010

Addicted

I’m not sure of what to do
It’s a catch 22
Cause the cure is found in you
I don’t want it but I do
You’re just like poison
My affliction, I’m addicted, I can't lie
Baby kiss me one more time before I die
(Beyonce, “Poison”)

He’s mysterious, strong, reliable, and sexy. I’m addicted to another man. Scratch that. I’m obsessed with another man. I can’t help it. From the moment he came on the scene, he got inside my head. It’s a dangerous thing.

I know his every move, I know what he smells like, and I know where he lives. But, he doesn’t know I exist. It will never come to be. See, we both belong to someone else. I have a great guy and he’s a figment of someone’s imagination.

Seriously. He’s a character from a series of books I’ve been devouring by Janet Evanovich. Freaking hilarious! The main character (Stephanie Plum) becomes a bounty hunter out of desperation at her cousin’s bail bond agency. And she is the worst bounty hunter ever!

If a gun-toting granny, a 250-lb hooker turned friend, and exploding cars don’t make you race to the bookstore…Ranger most certainly will.

Ahh…Ranger. Curse that Janet Evanovich for introducing me to him. He’s Cuban-American and once upon a time he was Special Forces. Now, he runs his own security agency and rescues Stephanie. He only wears black and Evanovich often describes his shirts as being “painted on.”

I can sum him up in one word. Yum!

I’m not in the least bit embarrassed by saying this, I STALK RANGER! I feverishly flip through the pages searching for his name. Before him I never did that to a book I liked. Reading ahead ruins the element of surprise for me, but in this case I have to get my fix.

Stephanie is caught between a seesaw relationship with her cop boyfriend (Morelli) and jumping Ranger. And she’s not the only one. Evanovich has created a fun rivalry—equipped with T-shirts—between her fans: Team Ranger and Team Morelli.

And you all know you want Ranger across your chest. Why? Because somewhere in this cosmic world it’s written that a girl shall lust after the bad boy.

Take my guy (Nick) for instance. He’s tall, sexy, and also rescues damsels. But, he lacks that one thing Ranger possesses. Eau de Bad Boy. I thought he was perfect. And he still is. For my first book.

But, Ranger has poisoned my mind. Obviously reality is an issue with us and nothing short of divine intervention is going to fix it. So, to ease my bad boy hunger, I’m going to have to create one of my very own. I’m not sure how or where he’s going to fit in, but he will.

He’ll be so kick ass delicious his pheromones will smell like cupcakes baking in the oven. And kvkt Liiromfndf wmd’t nr kkle oe rkliyz…Whoops! My eyes rolled back in my head at the sound of that. Sorry.

What I meant to say was even Sensibility won’t be able to resist him. Hmm. Light bulb!

Until I know where to put Future Bad Boy, he’s going to have to sit tight in the condo upstairs. You know how many “women” I have up there so it’s going to get ugly. They’re going to climb all over him like ants on a cookie crumb. So, I’ll need a security system. Like a Bad Boy Protection Program.

Hey, maybe Ranger could come over and install it. **wink**

And while all the gals—including Sensibility—are stuck to FBB’s windows like wallpaper I can sneak off to visit Christian Louboutin.

**Evil grin** Bad boys are good.

1 comment:

  1. I like!!!! I sooo like. Have'nt we all had this happen to us. I know I have. ;)

    ReplyDelete