Monday, December 2, 2013

"Crystal Blake" has Moved!

Yep. That's right! My new site: www.crystal-blake.com is up and running folks.

Feeling giddy!

We've truly enjoyed our stay at Blogger, (Blogger luv!) but it's time to say goodbye Sound of Music style: 

So long, farewell...
I...uh..something, something
To you and you and you.
Goodbye!

Okay, so maybe I should've looked up the lyrics. Oh, wait, how about a little George and Weezie?

We're moving on up!
To a deluxe apartment in the skyyyy!


I unsuccessfully tried to do the redirect thing and until I can do that without cursing at the screen this blog will be around for a little while. So, if you want to catch up on the "re-runs" for a bit, go for it.

BUT, take note:

Going forward, all new content and blog posts will be posted on the new site:

www.crystal-blake.com


See you over at the new place!


*takes one more look around, smiles, and closes the door*




Friday, November 29, 2013

Pretty Inside is Here!

...well, not here on this blog literally. But, it's over at Amazon TODAY, y'all!!!

(Click here for PRETTY INSIDE)

So, excited!!

First time I've felt like I accomplished something. Yes, I graduated from college, but my degree (Finance...don't even ask what I was thinking) doesn't suit me. It's always felt like something I needed to do versus something I was meant to do.

It's like I was looking for something to fit me, something to be proud of, something that screamed, "THIS is what you're supposed to be doing!"

I was searching for my purpose. And that's tough to do when you have no clues to help you.

Did I like writing when I was in school? Eh. Iffy. But, I did get an "A" on my college English research paper.
Did I write poetry and stories when I was a kid? Nope.
Did I make up stories or recreate them and share them with my stuffed animals? Again, no.
Did I say, "When I grow up I want to be a writer!" No.

And yet, somehow,writing feels like home. It's part of my being. It's my purpose. It's me.

Listen to those clues that keep screaming at you, they won't leave you alone for a reason. And if they're not bugging you just yet, don't worry, they will.

Thank you to all who stop by this blog! PRETTY INSIDE is just my beginning.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Black Friday meets Pretty Inside


Crystal Blake's PRETTY INSIDE will be available:

Where: Amazon.com

When: THIS Black Friday, November 29, 2013!!

PRETTY INSIDE is the girlfriend intervention you need. Written with a slice of no-nonsense, a splash of humor, and a sprig of inspiration, it is the "tell it like it is" guide to a better you.



Thursday, November 7, 2013

Just Zip It

I'm walking into Walgreen's at the same time another lady is coming out. I notice her zipper is down. I know I'd want someone to tell me, wouldn't you? Walking around, looking cute-to-def, flashing your polka-dotted undies...it's downright embarrassing.

I'm about to be her new BF. She's going to marvel at my courtesy and thank me for saving her hoo-hoo. I stop her by lightly touching her on the arm and say quietly, "Um, your zipper is down." 

"What?" she asks, a little louder than I wanted her to. Dang it! I'm trying to tell you on the QT your underwear is smiling at everyone...shhh!!!! It wasn't going exactly like I thought it would.

I say a little louder, "Your zipper is down." I look down. She looks down.

Her zipper is NOT down.

Countdown to awkwardness...3, 2, 1...

...there it is.

"Oh, gurrrl!" I say and wave my hand around as I beg my feet to move faster. "I thought your zipper was down. Ha, ha, ha!" And I take off.

I steal a glance and see her staring and laughing. I knew she was laughing at me. The look of "What just happened?" on her face totally backs it up.

In my defense, her jeans were giving off some strong unzippy vibes. They had that golden-brown stitching on BOTH sides of the zipper. What kind of sewing trickery is this?

It's weird, right? I thought it was so odd that I zoomed my eyeballs in on my own zipper area. Yep, just like I thought--one sided.

What designer thinks this is wise? You just can't be throwing random stitching around in that area! I've never paid attention to this before, but now I'm curious. Have you seen this before? Please let me know.

In the meantime...this chick ain't saving no more hoo-hoo's!!!


Can't get enough of my craziness? Check out this bonus read!!



“Ma’am…ma’am! You left your Bag ‘o Crazy in the cart!”

A quick trip to the market after work...

Hmm, what’s on the list? A box of Frazzled.

I thought I was in for some smooth shopping when I saw one of those car-carts The Baby loves waiting near the door as we walked in. Even though maneuvering those suckers makes me feel like I need a CDL, I’m cool with ‘em. I’ll search all over the store and parking lot and don’t care how many carts I have to pull out to get to one. If it allows me to shop in peace, I’ll push that Ford Focus all around the store!

“Mommy, go baff-room.”

“You have to go to the bathroom?” She nodded. She’s potty-training, so this could be a hit or miss.

I whipped around pallets and display stands (what IS all of this stuff?) and down-shifted my 18-wheeler to a rolling stop. I ran in the restroom, yanked off her coat, grabbed the seat liner, and plopped her down…

…she hopped right back off. “Don’t have to.” Miss.

I’ve never had the chance to catch a chicken or pig, but scurrying around behind The Baby (in 3-inch-heels!) to get her to wash her hands had to be close. I finally caught her and after some bumping and scrambling, stuffed her back into the cart.

Frazzled…check. Let’s see…a ½ gallon of Wacky.

I almost had everything when I just happened to look down. Do you know that scene from Marley & Me when Marley is hanging out of the car window and running on the street with his front paws while the car is moving?

My kid was Marley. Jeez, really? I don’t even know how long she’d been doing it or how she managed to not topple out. I repositioned her back into the car and we were off again.

Would you mind bagging that Craziness separately? Thank you!

We checked out and since I only had two light bags I decided to leave the cart where we found it.

“Looks like you need more hands,” a lady says to me as I lifted the bags out of the cart. What? Pfft. Lady, don’t let the bewildered look on this face fool you. I’m a pro-Mommer. I’ve got this.

Bags in right hand, purse slung over my shoulder, The Baby’s hand in my left. This is where I would redeem myself. At Mommy U I majored in carrying multiple things at one time. Chin up. Watch and be amazed people, I thought to myself as I strutted through the parking lot.

Then, the belt around my waist unhooked, leaving me looking all shades of crazy as I scooted, half-ran, and tugged The Baby along with my elbows glued to my side. I was going for the “Oh, we're just having fun!” look, but I don’t think it worked. I wanted to tell the other shoppers who encountered this befuddled person to not judge my mom skills by this incident alone.

Later that night, I carried a pair of boots, a pair of shoes, two coats, my purse, and The Baby up the stairs...at the same time.

*poses at the top of the stairs like a champ...snaps...and walks off*




Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Save the Date...

November 29, 2013
Black Friday…

Pretty Inside is coming to Amazon!!

*woot woot*

The team is in the middle, the coach is at the head
They all got together and this is what they said
Don’t stop, get it, get it,
Don’t stop, get it, get it
Don’t stop, rock with it
All you fans shake those stands!

*doing the Wop* Go me, go me. *woot woot* Go me…

…and pose!

Okay, pom-poms down. Whew...gasping…for air.

I drew the line in the sand and circled the calendar. This date is going to stick if I have to drag my tired, turkey-stuffed “WHY did I pick that date” behind across the finish line at 11:59 pm the night before.

Take it from someone who majored in Procrastination, sometimes you just have to go for it. Everything may not be lined up at that exact moment the way you want and it might not be aligned when the deadline comes, but “don’t stop, get it, get it!”

How will my book be received?
Will anyone actually read it?
Will it get good/bad reviews?
Will it be a winner or a flop?

Don’t know…don’t care (says the person who’s never published a book…ever!)

All I can do is “do me” and keep doing me.

All I can do is represent myself, my work, my gift, and passion to the best of my ability with an “All In” frame of mind.

All I can do is believe in me.

What about you? Do you believe in yourself? Are you “All In”, too?

Go ahead, tell Procrastination to sit down somewhere and circle that calendar like a boss! Don’t worry about what anyone else says or thinks, you’ve got one Wopping cheerleader routing for you right here.

Go you, go you…go, go, go you!

...and pose!




      

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Mixing-up Happiness

Tis the season to be baking…fa-la-la-la-la, la-la, la, la

That’s right, break out those mixing bowls and aprons…its baking time! Wait, wait! It’s not that kind of baking. Sheesh, you sure can sprint in those heels.

We’ve unofficially/officially entered the holiday season. To some it means baking and resolutions. Why not combine the two?

What in the world is she talking about?

This year, instead of making a list of things or goals we’d like to accomplish in 2014, create a recipe that will bring happiness.

*singing “I’m bringing Happy back…

Here, I’ll show you what’s been working for me:

2 Tbs: You get what you put out there
I know this has been said/heard a bajillion times, but ‘old school’ some times gets the best results. Treat people funky, then you get “the funk, the whole funk, and nothing but the funk” in your life. Nice begets nice. Blessings bring blessings. You know God don’t like ugly. And he can handle ugliness in a way I personally don’t want to find out about.

1 cup: Don’t invite the Negatives over
Ah, Drama, Dysfunction, and their kid Negativity are all around. But, it doesn’t mean you have to invite them in. All three are like stray cats, feed them and they become yours.

2 cups: Let it go
Some things—whether its people or situations—that are stressful and not productive in your life…let ‘em go. Some times, this may be the only thing you need to do to bring happiness. They are major happy blockers.

3 tsp: Finding Giddy
Remember Christmas mornings as a kid...giddy, right? I firmly believe in Finding Giddy. Find something that makes you feel like Christmas morning, everyday. For me, it’s writing.

So, those are some of the ingredients in my mixing bowl. Like all recipes you have to season and tweak to taste. 

What's your recipe?